Worry is where I take myself when I refuse to give up control. It is the "what if" syndrome in which my life has been placed upon in the past. "What if I fail, what if he cheats, what if I die, etc...". It can go on and on. But what if I "Cast all my cares upon God because he cares for me''... what would my life be like then?
This is not how it used to be. Anxiety coursed through my veins like a thief in the night, stealing the last drop of peace that I had in my being. Worry draped over me like a throw blanket on the couch, inviting me in to be warm but consuming me like a lion on the prowl. What ever could take me into this type of existence?
Me...selfish me seemed to be the reason for it all! Philippians 2:3-4 states, "To do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit but in humility count others more significant that yourself, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of others". Prison taught me this. Prison taught me that others are important!
What will one hour of worry do for you? It solves nothing...I will not lie and say that I do not worry; things cross my mind and I ponder them but at this very moment in time I am free; free indeed.
I dismiss the the spiral of thoughts that turn into an emotional tidal wave. I am able to separate fact from feeling and thrive on the truth. What a beautiful way to live! I know what it is like to walk in the light and to be truly free!
God so loved the world that he gave his only son so that we may have eternal life. Will what I am doing now be remembered by generations to come by worrying? No. The impact will be made by spreading the love of God in every moment and situation possible.
My philosophy of life is now "No te preoccupes" Do not worry. For life is short and then we die. To be the light in this dark world is what I thrive on. To be a help to another woman who is covered in overwhelming feelings is what I strive to do. To live as if it is my last day is what I will do.
For each of us do not know which hour will be our last, so spend it wisely. Love, live and let go. In every situation I give thanks. I am thankful for prison for opening my eyes to the world we live in and each and every human I share a smile with throughout the day.