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The End of the Beginning: Nowhere to Run

There is wire everywhere. It's sharp. It's shiny. It is not worth touching. You think of climbing (don't tell me you haven't) but the risk is too high. Escape charge, possibly five years minimum mandatory. Is ten seconds worth five years? I have been asking myself that question lately. I stare out. The lights sometimes blink...fluorescent bulbs fill the sky; the sky I now know.

My heart beats from my chest; a drum...Boom Boom Boom. I am just full of anxiousness. When I cannot breathe is when I truly start to think. When I feel free I truly start to not like the feeling.

They say people come back like they do to their favorite restaurant or their unexpected love's arms. When did you find me again? I snap a picture...a moment froze in time. When will I ever be able to feel this again? I need you now. That's what I think at least. I feel strong but subconsciously walk in the deep mist of turmoil.

The socks are fuzzy tonight for the first time in a while. Before pulling them up, I apply lotion; each foot with an application that is thick enough for the night. From there I feel the comfy socks against my moist skin. The right sock on before the left, the biggest fault. The right sock with ease slides up but takes extra effort to be placed under my box on my ankle; black, intrusive, and just real. It beeps if you lose it, it beeps if you aren't in the right place, GPS signal lost; black box missing; you missing. I am missing, where am I really... never to be found again or maybe around to see the purpose of the madness? Blinded by the light. I sort of like that idea. If you're blind can you see the truth? No, only the dark part of the twisted reality we almost call home...for now home.

Recall...always. I recall the white Mustang before walking into court.

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